Links: Thursday, November 14th

November 14, 2013 Links 0

A color photo of a sidewalk surrounded by green grass. A white sign on a metal post says "SIDEWALK ENDS" in black letters. Found it, Shel Silverstein.

  • In Hookups, Inequality Still Reigns – I meant to add this to Tuesday’s links. Still, I found it interesting how easily everyone seemed to downplay the importance of female orgasm. One woman says she finds making a man orgasm to be empowering, while the man is quoted as saying he can’t really be bothered to try to make a hook-up orgasm. Additionally, the below quote could describe half of Romancelandia.

    “I haven’t hooked up with anybody who was so cavalier as to just, like, not even care,” she said. “But I think most of them were somewhat baffled that it would require more than just them thrusting.”

    Ms. Martini said she was never taught how to have good sex, let alone how to ask for what she needs. The education she received in school was aimed at stopping teenagers from having sex at all; there wasn’t much discussion of arousal. Ms. Martini said most cultural representations of sex left out the messy details.

    “The way we view sex in porn and in movies and in books, people aren’t talking to each other like, ‘Oh, my foot’s falling asleep, we need to move,’” she said.

  • Do Muslim Women Need Saving? – A quick piece that warns against colonialist views of Muslim women that assume a lack of agency.

    A language of rights cannot really capture the complications of lives actually lived. If we were to consider the quandaries of a young woman in rural Egypt as she tries to make choices about who to marry or how she will make a good life for her children in trying circumstances, perhaps we would realize that we all work within constraints. It does not do justice to anyone to view her life only in terms of rights or that loaded term, freedom. These are not the terms in which we understand our own lives, born into families we did not choose, finding our way into what might fulfill us in life, constrained by failing economies, subject to the consumer capitalism, and making moral mistakes we must live with.

  • Revisiting People of Color In Sci-Fi Romance – Writer and blogger Heather Massey, who I think of as the ambassador of science fiction romance, is compiling a list of SFR that features characters who are people of color.

    In November of 2011, I blogged about People of Color in science fiction romance. Or rather, their unfortunate underrepresentation in this genre. I crowdsourced a list of titles, but in light of Suleikha Snyder’s guest post Mind the Queue: Privilege, Diversity and Romance, it’s time to revisit the issue.

    Over the past year I’ve read a few more SFR titles featuring PoC and have discovered a few more. I’m betting–hoping–there are other stories out there.

  • That Goddamned Blue Bird and Me: How Twitter Hijacked My Mind – Me 2008: I don’t understand Twitter. Why would you want to tell everyone what you had for lunch? Me 2013: *checks Twitter on the toilet*

    This essay is not a renunciation. For good or ill, I have no imminent plans to stop tweeting. Nor is it a vilification. I love Twitter, a complicated love that includes agape and occasionally some eros and for sure the capital-P Platonic love of fine minds meeting, and also, who knows, probably sibling rivalry and Stockholm Syndrome. In fact, this piece is about love. It’s an attempt to understand why I fell for this particular medium, and what doing so has meant for all the other things I love in life. And it is also an attempt to understand what Twitter has done to my mind, not neurologically — let us for once in the twenty-first century not go there — but phenomenologically: that is, how Twitter has changed the way it feels for me to think, write, and simply exist in today’s world.

  • 15 “naughty” tips to guarantee awful sex – Does what it says on the tin. My favorite?

    13. Men’s Health: “Hold her gaze for a minute. If she’s blinking more than normal (which is about 15 times a minute), there’s a good chance she’s on the Pill; women on birth control blink 32 percent more than those who aren’t.”

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An ice hockey fan from north of Boston and the genre's most beloved troll, Ridley enjoys reading contemporary and historical romance, as well as the odd erotica novel. As someone who uses a wheelchair, she takes a particular interest in disability themes.

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