Links: Tuesday, January 20th

January 20, 2015 Links 3

A stock photo of a child's birthday party. A white father is flanked by a young son and daughter at a table with a birthday cake on it. A white mother and grandmother look on. In the back, with the balloons, stands a middle-aged white man in a white tank top holding a beer and looking out at the viewer.

This Guy Photobombs Stock Photos And It’s Hilarious

Today’s Links:

  • “Can’t we all just get along?” …No – Lately hockey Twitter has been inundated with blog posts calling for civility from women who call out people for saying sexist or bigoted things and I thought this reaction post really nails the issue for what it is. I’ll have to bookmark it for when romance land falls into one of its periodic “be nice” cycles.

    A concept of “niceness” based on what white people are comfortable with will always fuck over PoC. Always. White people have a higher tolerance for racism. They’re less likely to even recognize racism (especially aversive racism, as opposed to overt). Many are downright attached to racism (I mean, look at how hard The Committed Indian defends its name and logo). White people are more likely to be comfortable on hockey twitter as it is and to be happy with (very) slow, surface-level progress. They are less motivated to take on racism in the community. Honestly, white people are pretty okay with racism itself, but terrified of being labeled a racist.

    For all of those reasons, white people are highly likely to see someone who frequently addresses racism in the community as “mean.” And I’m not talking about racism from a distance. White people will happily talk about teams or players screwing up because it makes them look progressive without actually involving discomfort. I’m talking about racism within the community from your bros.

  • In Their Own Words: Ten Scary Quotes from Purity Culture Advocates – Dianna E. Anderson writes about Christian purity culture and there are porn directors out there with far healthier and less objectifying views of women than the writers she quotes here.

    I’m loath to make top ten lists and click-baity articles. But I’ll be honest, there are times when the only way I can explain why purity culture needs to change and why is to just quote people from the world of the purity movement. Some of the things that get said in the name of purity are downright horrific. These are the kinds of arguments and justifications and reasoning I read in research for my book, Damaged Goods. I’ve kept them to context as best I could, but even with the most charitable readings, many of these quotes are simply mind-boggling.

    These quotes demonstrate the connection between objectification of women, purity culture and rape culture. Women do not exist as people in purity culture – we are merely objects that exist to help men, even through the sacrifice of our own sexual wants and needs. Our bodies don’t belong to us, there is no concept of consent or bodily autonomy. We exist for men, pure and simple. And that needs to change.

  • To Catch a Sex Worker: A&E’s Awful, Exploitative Ambush Show – I watched a few episodes of Hoarders before becoming really uncomfortable with how I was watching people in crisis as entertainment. Reality TV isn’t my bag to begin with, but this “rescue” sub-genre seems particularly wrong.

    Picture the movie Pretty Woman as a reality TV show. Keep the male fantasy of “rescuing” a sex worker intact, replace Richard Gere’s lonely businessman with an ex-cop turned pastor named—of course—Kevin, and swap out Julia Robert’s Rodeo Drive shopping spree with a pep talk about a halfway house and you’ve got 8 Minutes, a new series that was just greenlit by A&E. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, executive producer Tom Forman calls it “one of those great shows that was actually happening whether anybody was shooting it or not.” The sex workers I spoke with rightly call it “vile,” “gross,” “terrifying,” and “exploitative.”

    8 Minutes will follow retired Orange County police officer and clergyman Kevin Brown as he attempts to convince women to leave sex work behind. Brown does this by posing as a client and confronting sex workers in hotel rooms, where he spends the eponymous eight minutes trying to persuade them to switch trades. According to Forman’s EW interview, we can expect Brown’s pitch to open with a smooth line like, “I’m not here to have sex with you, I’m here to offer you a whole new life if you want it” and to include such ominous statements as, “Even if this all seems okay to you right now, it’s quickly going to become something very different.” Forman claims that Brown has a success rate of “about 50-50” and that women who do leave with him are offered access to a “fairly intensive program,” that includes training in “life skills.”

  • Cancer ‘the best way to die’? You couldn’t be more wrong if you tried – The paragraph about dealing with well-meaning friends and relatives clinging to hope for a miracle cure after he’s worked to accept his terminal diagnosis should be a lesson for the rest of us.

    Yes, it is great that I’ve had time to communicate with all my family, friends, acquaintances and work colleagues.

    At the same time, this process comes with a curse. It probably took me eight weeks to ‘be at peace’ with my situation. I am now pretty calm and serene about it. I simply want to navigate through with the minimum of stress.

    Yet those same groups of people put a huge strain on me daily. They don’t want to accept that I’m going to die. They want me to be the miracle that somehow gets round it. They want to use Google to find alternative treatments that will ’cure‘ me. So I spend a HUGE amount of my limited time left dealing with THEIR baggage.

    Now, you would have thought that, as the central character in this tragedy, they would grant me some preferential status rather than expecting me to counsel them. But you know what – they don’t.

  • Blood, Sweat and Teeth: Wild Nights with an NHL Dentist – This was a fun article about the dentists who work on hockey players during games, but give it a pass if you’re blood and gore sensitive. High sticks and errant pucks do some nasty damage.

    To work on the teeth of an NHL player is so unlike regular dentistry that it needs a word of its own. Teeth knocked out, gums ripped apart, cheeks sliced open, jaws broken into pieces—whatever dental injury a person can have, an NHL dentist has probably seen it, and more than once.

    No other sport has a job quite like a dentist in the NHL. In some games, these dentists simply sit and watch, usually using season tickets provided by the team, waiting for a problem that never happens. In other games, they leave those seats and jump right into medical emergencies the likes of which they would never see anywhere else.

    Some team dentists enjoy the game and turn back into dentists when they’re needed. Others watch with trepidation, always worrying about a pending dental disaster. One hit looks brutal and it’s nothing. Another hit looks like nothing, and it breaks a jaw. In the wild nights of NHL dentists, nobody ever knows what’s coming next.

  • 15 Unique Illnesses You Can Only Come Down With in German – God bless the German language.

    The German language is so perfectly suited for these syndromes, coming down with them in any other language just won’t do.


    At some point in the last couple of decades, parents in Germany started coming down with Kevinismus— a strange propensity to give their kids wholly un-German, American-sounding names like Justin, Mandy, Dennis, Cindy, and Kevin. Kids with these names tend to be less successful and have more behavior problems in school. Studies of the Kevinismus phenomenon attribute these effects to a combination of teachers’ prejudices toward the names, and the lower social status of parents who choose names like Kevin.

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An ice hockey fan from north of Boston and the genre's most beloved troll, Ridley enjoys reading contemporary and historical romance, as well as the odd erotica novel. As someone who uses a wheelchair, she takes a particular interest in disability themes.

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3 Responses to “Links: Tuesday, January 20th”

  1. Meoskop

    Cancer seems to be everywhere around me these last two weeks, although not currently (knock whatever) attacking me. I cannot believe someone really wrote an article suggesting it’s a great way to go. I agree with almost everything in the rebuttal. My grandmother said to me “I would have liked longer, but if it’s like the last few years, it’s just as well.” Her final weeks were probably her most pain free. One of the things I found really hard with on my first, less favorable, cancer was having to emotionally support the vast quantity of my family and friends. He’s spot on there as well. The second one they greet with more of a shrug and a vague irritation that you’re doing THAT again. (#NotAllMeoskopsPeople) Ugh. Cancer is not on my list of great exits either, thankyouverymuch.

  2. Meoskop

    @Ridley: I should have saved all the miracle cure stuff I got shoved at me. But now I feel bad because nothing clears a comment space faster than the Big C.